The Nature of an Assist

8 miles of constant running, primarily sprinting. 90 minutes of action separated only by a short halftime. Round ball. Cleats. Uniform. Hours of preparation. Years of dedication. Aches. Pains. Excitement, anger, frustration, heart. Lungs screaming for air. Endurance forged by jumping rope, extreme core workouts, and early morning track sessions. Ice baths. 30 brothers. These are some of the ingredients of a successful soccer team I had the privilege of being a part of.

I have been involved in groups and events greater than myself all my life. Church, Boy Scouts, athletic & academic teams, scholastic & professional clubs and organizations, advisory boards, appeals committees, now building a career and a beautiful marriage, fostering new friendships…I’ve tried to stay relatively productive most of my life. No feathers in my cap, most of us do! Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday) is next week. I will, yet again, participate in something far greater than myself – an unusually large family gathering.

Thanksgiving is the time of year when I tend to focus on how fortunate I am. Rather than thinking about all I do; I think about all I get to do and who I get to do it for. Proper perception of our actions and the actions of those around us is critically important for the betterment of our society as well as those who will learn from our example. Yes, I am arguing a perceived flaw in our society but also offering a solution. People desire too much credit and aren’t willing to give credit to others. This, in more ways than one, is an extension of a society adopting the mentality of a victim. I fear this victimization is penetrating our country – eventually, we won’t have a backbone. Written differently, there is too much “I” and not enough “we.”

My solution is simple: alter perception. In athletic speak, rather than scoring the goal, provide the assist. If you find yourself thinking about all you do, make a subtle change to your mindset. Think about all you have the ability to do. Furthermore, think about how your ability to do something affects those around you. You may find that this shift in perception makes the heavy lifting a little lighter, the hours a little shorter, and the mundane more enjoyable. I began this piece by referring to things far greater than myself. I have a secret to share. Life is far more enjoyable when you aren’t going at it alone. Participation in events and organizations that are more meaningful than oneself is a great starting point for altering perception. When operating on a team, the realization that not everyone is out to get you becomes more palatable. When you have teammates, you can provide assists!

One thing I like about working at OmniStar is the continuation of something I have done since I was young – being part of a whole. I get to enjoy my colleagues, clients, new relationships, and alliances in and around Wilmington, and I get to learn a lot from all these people. I am thankful for these people, and I am proud to help provide value to their lives. My value is no longer derived from a 70-yard sprint in the dying minutes of a tied game to deliver a perfect pass to one of my brothers who would go on to score a game-winner – I do wish this was still the case occasionally. The feeling that accompanies what I just described is one of great joy – joy accompanied by overwhelming humility. This feeling can be harnessed, transferred, and grown to produce truly great results, but only if we are willing to step out of the spotlight and instead provide the assist.

The nature of an assist is powerful and does not have to hold supreme significance to be meaningful. In most cases, I think an assist is more beautiful than a game-winner. My opinion is derived from several decades on a soccer field but translates well into just about anything else. Life presents opportunities daily to provide an assist. Helping with roadside cleanups, contributing to a young person’s school project, getting a message to the right person, holding the door for someone, providing financial support for a loved one…the list goes on and on. Rather than playing the victim and getting upset when we don’t score the goal, we find the opportunity to celebrate an assist. Assists are much easier to come by and often provide greater satisfaction than scoring a goal.  

Be well,

Spell Carr